Monday, June 10, 2013

Putting it off

I tend to put off unpleasant things. Things like changing a juvenile e-mail address to one that is more appropriate for a grown-up, picking up after the dog in the backyard, returning a phone call that may involve telling someone 'no', these are the things that can be drawn out over long periods of time. Typically what snaps me out of it is accountability, or the impending arrival of company.

I have known for three years that we need to talk to someone about Brenna's back. I can see the curve; I know that it is affecting her gait. Yet, there are unknowns that scare the liver out of me and allow me to live in a place of denial, not allowing it to take up daily space in my head.

Friday is the big day for us. We will see her General Practitioner and most likely get a referral to talk to a specialist about what needs to be done. I feel a heavier burden for Brenna's health issues. Why this is, I don't know. I love my children equally, but I feel more responsibility towards Brenna. I am fearful that we will have a decision to make and have to trust that the decision will be bathed in prayer and we are guided into the best decision for how to proceed.