The past several months have been ones where I have hung on tightly to my faith, believing that we were called to a specific child for a specific purpose. I still believe we've been called to this child, but the path isn't the one I envisioned. Can I just level with you? I don't have a clue as to what God's doing here.
Was this to simply love on this child for a brief time?
Was it to make us more sensitive to those who are vulnerable and to families in the adoption process?
Was it so that he'll have two more people in the world who pray for him each and every morning at breakfast and each night when we tuck in our other three?
Was it to teach us generosity when we briefly peered over a ledge of financial uncertainty-- realizing we'd never accomplish this on our own? Because I swear I will never be apathetic towards anyone fundraising for an adoption ever again.
Was it to show us that God's best might not be in line with what we think is best?
Was it to guard the heart of the one who has taken care of him for so very long?
I really don't know.
Here's what I do know. This beautiful boy is loved by people on two continents.This entire situation doesn't surprise God. I kind of wish it did--- but it doesn't. We were showered with support from some of the most unexpected of friends and family and I don't take that for granted.
He isn't gone forever-- he just won't live here with us. And I can be good with that most days if he's happy. And hopefully as time passes, I can be good with that every day.