Forgetting and remembering

Sometimes the day to day feels  unexciting, unimportant and predictable, which somehow translates to me feeling unexciting, unimportant and blah. As I unloaded the dishwasher this morning I found myself praying the prayer that gets offered up about every 4 months or so, "God, is this it? Is there something else I should be doing? A goal I should be setting? "

It doesn't help that today comes shortly after a failure in my personal life. That failure finds me questioning what I stand for, who I am, what God's specific plan is for me and if I'm living it out effectively. Am I saying yes to commitments for the right reasons? All of this has appeared on the ticker in my brain, slowly repeating the same questions over the course of time.

I spent some time in 1 Corinthians 12 this morning, rightly titled "The Use of Spiritual Gifts".
12:4-7, 18 "Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons. But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired."

Sometimes I try to hard to contrive my giftedness. I need to remember the varieties of gifts-- that mine looks very different from a friend's, but that it is working for the common good. I tend to question the importance of my gift, looking for validation, assurance, praise, worth. (vs 14- 24 addresses that whole can of mess).

And then when I dig around with the whole validation issue, it leads me to the question, "What do I mean to God?" When I have failed, when I feel ordinary, when I stumble in my parenting and yet consider it my main goal and task at hand-- where is my value then?

My value lies in Him. It doesn't leave because I have become distracted from remembering that point. Distracted by obligations, cliques, deadlines, late PTA forms, dirty laundry and a messy kitchen counter. Distracted by focusing on images of perfection, wishfulness in the form of Facebook posts, lack of a creative teacher appreciation gift and weight gain.

Ephesians 2:4-9 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, ...

Oh, how easily I forget. And how slow I am to remember-- but how faithful He is to remind me.