Today is Marvel Monday at Brenna and Sam's school. Sam had no desire to dress up, but Brenna did. She decided to be Cat Woman, a super villain. While dropping off the kids, I scanned the crowd, trying to see how many kids had chosen to come in costume. I saw a few superhero t-shirts, but no other cat women entering the building. The good news is, we probably aren't duplicating anyone's costume today. The bad news is, Brenna started her period this morning.
I knew this was coming. It shouldn't come as a shock, but there was something that twisted my gut into knots to know that she had reached this milestone on a day that she was happily eating her Honey Bunches of Oats, wearing her sequin cat ears with a tuft of black "cat hair" glued to the headband.
It doesn't feel fair. And shouldn't I really be past that point of reasoning by now? Every parent of every child walking the planet knows that life is not fair. Every special needs parent experiences the unfairness on a fairly regular basis. And yet, I wish that I could wave a magic wand and never have her enter physical adolescence. It opens up doors in my mind that lead to places I'm just not ready to go yet. Brenna will always have a vulnerability because of her disability. The start of her period reminds me that adulthood awaits and the path continues on, despite my lack of readiness.
Different points of my parenting journey have had different levels of dependence upon God. I think we're approaching a time of serious spiritual growth for mom, starting now. And that isn't a bad thing. It's a good reminder that if life were fair, there would be no room for forgiveness, no room for salvation. So, I'll take unfair, at least for today.
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