Hope

Our morning began with Brenna taking her oral meds without any nausea, followed by her "wing and a prayer" IV coming out. It had begun to leak and was probably a bit precarious because of its location and the constant need to roll her side to side each two hours. I felt sick to my stomach when the nurse checked and verified it was leaking, about a minute later it slid out. We probably had close to 200 people or more praying over this tiny IV. You might find it interesting that it dislodged just moments after she finished her last IV antibiotic, which she now no longer needs since her drains are out. I sincerely believe God allowed it to continue working in that tiny vein for every moment it was needed and then let the angel holding it in let go of it since his arm was falling asleep. God knew she would start drinking for us today, the doctors would figure out the problematic medicine the night before and that we wouldn't have to go through the trauma of an EJ.

Greg had a long run scheduled for today for his marathon training and went ahead and headed out to Forest Park for his run.  Shortly after he left, the physical therapist came in and helped me walk Brenna to the nurse's station before situating her in her wheelchair, where she needed to stay sitting up for an hour and a half. This felt  intimidating to me because I have relied pretty heavily on Greg for her therapy time. She looks so unsteady in the chair, like she could topple forward, but the therapist assures me that her foot placement won't allow that to happen. So, we took a deep breath and headed up to the garden. While there, we saw Candace, Carson's mom, wheeling him through the garden also. Brenna initiated conversation with Candace, telling her that her birthday was coming soon. Candace was surprised by the change in Brenna within 24 hours. Her little Carson, Brenna's PICU roommate, is doing really well and gets to leave to go back to Kansas tonight. They were so excited to be leaving and I am so happy for Carson that he will get to wake up in his bed tomorrow morning. Candace gave me her e-mail and I am excited to stay in touch with her. There is something that bonds you to another parent going through something so similar with their child.

Brenna was pale when we put her back in bed, after her therapy session had ended. As we laid her down, she asked, "Go on walk?". She wasn't ready to quit. She knows she has to get stronger to go home and she is working so hard at doing her therapy.

Tony and Jennifer came to visit us and it was so good to see faces from home. We haven't seen friends and family for a few days and it made the evening go by so quickly. Brenna was really excited to see them and was happy to have company. She twirled her hair and joined in the conversation a few times-- I felt like we were seeing the old Brenna again.

After the Reeleys left, Greg and I sat near Brenna's bed, talking and checking e-mail. Out of the blue Brenna stated, "I'm so glad Dr. Lenke fixed my back." I was amazed to hear her say this. I didn't know if she would say this 6 weeks from now or even a year from now. It was hard to put her through something so excruciating when it wasn't her choice, but Greg's and my judgement for her best interest. Part of me wondered if she would ever resent me for this, if she would hold the pain or the long incision scar against me. Part of me hoped she just wouldn't remember this week in the hospital, as is the experience of so many spinal patients.

I don't pretend to think that we have cleared every hurdle and are on a straight and clear road to recovery. I am sure there will still be plateaus and even set backs, but today gave us hope. And to be quite honest, we were needing a little bit of that.